They Like Me. They Really, Really Like Me! September 30, 2007

When we were living in “The City”, our house was rather close to a large shopping complex, bus stops, busy road, and the odd drug house. There was always something going on. I didn’t realize how accustomed to the noise I had become until we moved to “Mayberry”. After our first night here, I was begging for sirens, drug deals, gunshots…anything to break up the silence. A girl can dream can’t she?

So you can imagine my delight when the police showed up yesterday. The neighbors got together and started breakin’ the law just to make lil’ ol’ me feel right at home. It was a small party (2 police cars, one potentially hot car- I couldn’t get a good look at what was going on without being TOO obvious-3 neighbors, 1 U-Haul, and a set of twins), but it’s the thought that counts!

I think I’m goin’ like it here!

I Thought I Had More Time September 29, 2007

Small Voice: Mama!

Small Voice’s Brother: Mama?

Small Voice: MA MA!

Brother: Police are here!

Mama (sometimes you just can’t ignore the voices any longer): In our yard?

Small Voice: Yeah! Police here.

I was hoping I would never hear these words from our boys. They’re only 3, what will life be like when they’re 13?

I’m The Mom…too. September 28, 2007

Update 09.29.2001

“This video is no longer available due to a copyright claim by Mike Atkins Entertainment, LLC”

This clip was a woman mom (fully clothed and not nursing) singing everything a mom might say to her kids in a 24 hour period. It was brilliantly sang to the tune of The William Tell Overture in a mere 2 min 50 seconds. It was hilarious. Anita Renfroe, you’re “the man”!

Update on the Update 8 min later:

Go here to view the clip.

Ask The “Expert” September 27, 2007

Dear Swimming In Laundry,

My son and daughter (not twins) couldn’t be more different in personalities and temperaments. Yet they’re brother and sister. I’m curious just how different the twins’ personalities are turning out to be. I guess I harbored a childhood wish to be a twin. Five other siblings in our family just weren’t enough for me or something.

Connie

Dear Connie-

For awhile I was convinced they had one big personality that they shared (some days, I thought it was one demon). Just as I was getting to know their individual characteristics they would switch and I would be forced to identify them based solely on their looks (that’s pretty hard from across the room). There is still some of that, but I think they are really starting to be Bigweld AND Herbie, as opposed to “the boys” (I try not to refer to them as “the twins”). Now that I have that in writing, Bigweld will probably come home from preschool as the calmer of the two and I will be so confused! They seem to have similar interests (cars, tractors, dirt, worms, “bad guys”, and grandpa’s tools). Their food and clothing likes/dislikes are different…for today anyway! Bigweld has a VERY sweet tooth. He will do ANYTHING for a chocolate!

Only tomorrow (and the next day and the day after that) will tell their true colors.

Sincerely,

SIL

A Little Q & A September 24, 2007

Dear Swimming In Laundry,

So…just how many licks DOES it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?

Sincerely,

Curious in Corn Country

Dear CICC:

Though this is an excellent question, I feel I must confess that it is a bit beyond my range of expertise as I try to avoid sticky situations. I will, however, guess that it takes more than one lick.

Sincerely,

SIL

Copy Cat September 22, 2007

My sister says I don’t post often enough. So here is the new plan. I am going to copy SimplyKoya who copied The Pilot and start a weekly “ask the ‘expert’ post” I am on my way to knowing something about being married to a pilot and raising one plus twins.

So, hit me with your best shot. What do you want to know? What do you think my children want to read about in 15 years?

Liar, Liar Pants on Fire! September 17, 2007

It seems that every day I tell another white lie and then another to cover up the one I told yesterday. I’m spiraling out of control. I don’t know fact from fiction anymore. What happened to me? How can I set things right? What sort of an impact will this have on my family? Will they ever trust me again? Do they really have to know that I’ve been lying to them?

Here are a few of my sweet little lies:

1.) You’re not too sick to go to school.

2.) My coffee is ALWAYS too hot. (I’m just protecting my little darlings. Look at me now, I’m justifying the lies)

3.) Cats need privacy to use the litter box.

4.) Daddy wants to read ALL of the goodnight stories.

5.) I’ve never heard that joke before.

6.) I’m sure Target is out of pink band-aids.

7.) Sometimes it’s very light in the middle of the night.

8.) It’s too early for Curious George.

9.) A little spider bite never hurt anyone.

10.) I’m fine.

11.) Big boys don’t whine.

12.)  Your tongue will turn black and fall off if you say that bad word.

13.)  You’ll poke your brain out if you keep picking your nose.
Should I come clean? Do all moms lie?  Tell me your lies…

My Name Is Not Alexander September 10, 2007

The boys went to bed with gum in their hands and now their fingers are stuck together and when I got up this morning I was greeted by a 6 year old who did not want to go to school and I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

I think I’ll runaway.

At breakfast Herbie wanted cookies, Bigweld wanted Dibs, and I just wanted tea but in my tin all I found was decaf.

I think I’ll runaway.

On the walk to school Violet cried, Bigweld tripped and skinned his knee, and Herbie whined. I said my nerves are shot. No one even answered. I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

At school Violet told her teacher she wouldn’t be in class today, and she said “what do you want me to do about it?”

At nap-time, everyone played. Who needs rest anyway? I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

I could tell because the weatherman fore-casted 100 degrees. I hope the next time it’s that hot he’s stuck at home with three small, very tired, over-heated children and is unable to run away.

There were three phone calls I needed to make. They all ended with me in tears. It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

That’s what is was because after Herbie came home from his “alone visit” with Super Gram I wanted to go for a drive but was missing a car-seat. I’ll bring it over in a few hours said Super Gram. In a few hours, I’ll be a runaway.

And on top of all that, I had to make dinner and The Pilot wasn’t here to kiss the cook. My bath was interrupted by the cat. I slipped on the soap, the water would not go down the drain, and I had to wear my towel outside. I hate it when that happens. When I went to bed I layed in gum.

It has been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

Mom says there are days like that.

Even when you run away.

(Thank you, Judith Viorst, for helping me to use my your words to work through my many tears. “Alexander and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day” was just the right read for today.)

Distance Makes The Heart Grow… September 6, 2007

Oh, Sweet Internet, how I have missed you. I have dreamt of you. I have longed for you. I have searched for you. You truly have me addicted to your powers.

We just moved from “The City” to what some are calling Mayberry (The Pilots’ best friend has dubbed my new town as such, and since he grew up here I guess he can call it whatever he wants). We spent 8 days disconnected from the world. No mail, no Internet service (and everyone in my new neighborhood has their wireless networks secured. Can you believe the nerve of some people?)

Anyway, I’m back and more in love than ever!